Perception: Managing Difficult People

According to Vanessa Van Edwards’ article, four categories of people are defined as difficult: the downers, better than, passives, and tanks. The RCCG directorates of…

According to Vanessa Van Edwards’ article, four categories of people are defined as difficult: the downers, better than, passives, and tanks. The RCCG directorates of Sunday School also include additional types such as “Snipers,” “Blame gamers,” “Yes people,” “No people,” “Dictators,” “Grenade person,” and Perfectionist.” However, it is essential to consider that being passive, a “yes/no person,” or a perfectionist should not define difficultness. Using such individual personality traits as a measure would mean that almost everyone falls under the category of difficult people, as we all possess different traits and behaviors.

Similarly, being an expert, gifted, talented, technically skilled, or professional in any field should not automatically label someone as difficult. It would be unfair to consider all professionals, experts, and skilled individuals as difficult people, although there may be instances where some professionals act in difficult ways. It is important to note that being difficult is not synonymous with being technically skilled, professional, or disciplined. Rather, difficultness is characterized by deliberate, intentional, attitudinal, and temperamental behaviors.

Perceptions play a significant role in defining difficultness. It is natural for us to perceive people who are better, stronger, wealthier, more knowledgeable, skilled, insightful, powerful, or influential as difficult. However, this perception is subjective and often arises from a lack of understanding or feeling threatened by unfamiliarity. For example, the perception of difficulty may differ when it comes to subjects like mathematics, physics, or languages. What may be difficult for one person could be straightforward for another. Therefore, difficultness is largely a matter of perception.

Managing human resources and harnessing strengths are crucial for progress. We must not view the expertise and strengths of others as defining difficultness, but rather as opportunities for collaboration and growth. Each person has their own areas of strength and weakness, and recognizing and utilizing these differences is key to achieving collective goals. Unless skilled individuals use their competence against you, they should not be considered difficult.

Identifying difficult people is relatively straightforward. They exhibit characteristics such as insatiableness, being unteachable, incorrigibility, obstinacy, rigidity, a winner mentality, inconsideration, psychological/emotional instability, and irritability. These traits are indicators of difficultness.

In conclusion:

  1. Difficultness is a matter of perception, arising from a lack of understanding or knowledge on how to handle certain situations.
  2. Difficultness is an illusion created in our minds and can be overcome with the acquisition of knowledge.
  3. Difficultness is always against, not for. It arises when individuals use their advantages or control against you.
  4. Professionalism, skillfulness, and expertise are not inherently difficult; it is the way they are used that determines their impact.
  5. Difficultness is intentional, deliberate, and temperamental. It is exhibited when individuals purposefully choose to ignore, disobey, or cause harm.
  6. Difficultness is not a personality trait and cannot be measured solely by individual traits.
  7. In extreme cases, difficultness can be associated with a mental disorder.

By: Pastor John Alabi

Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments, opinions on this website are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of M-Lifestyle and their affiliates. M-Lifestyle does not claim ownership of any images used, unless otherwise specified.





    This had made my day. It all centers on leadership attributes.


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