The impact of relationships cannot be overemphasized. Too many people minimize the impact relationships have on their lives. Almost all our sorrows in life can…

The impact of relationships cannot be overemphasized. Too many people minimize the impact relationships have on their lives. Almost all our sorrows in life can be traced to relationships with the wrong people, our joys can also be traced to relationships with the right people. John C. Maxwell has a formula for relationships:  R + R – R = R + R. That means rules and regulations minus relationships = rebellion and resentment.

Some relationships add value to you, they make you a better person, and they energize, inspire, and validate you. Such type of relationship lifts you and gives you joy. On the other hand, some relationships can devalue you, bring you down, and makes you feel worthless.


Any relationship that drains your positive energy emotionally, spiritually, or financially is a relationship you should run away from.  For example, If you feel anxious unnecessarily when a call comes in from the person you are in a relationship with, then you should run away from such a relationship.  Any relationship that takes more from you than you get in return is wrong for you.


According to Helen Keller in her book, the treasure of a friend, she said: “my friends have made the story of my life.” A positive relationship that adds to you will do amongst others the following: Believe in your dreams, share in your joys, dry your tears, give you hope, comfort you when you are hurt, listen to and laugh with you, tell you the truth, and encourage you. Your relationships must add to you and not take away from you.

For those of you who are ready to take the next step in marriage, let us consider these three key points to finding the right person for you.

1. Beauty is vain
According to Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.” The attractiveness of a man or the beauty of a woman should not be the only basis for one’s choice. That individual must have the fear of the Lord in them. We are encouraged in the scriptures not to have any relationship with darkness. Any choice you make outside the sphere of the children of God is choosing from the dead. As a child of light, who has been called out of darkness, you cannot be unequally yoked with darkness. Anyone who is not born again whether handsome or beautiful is not meant for you.

2. It all starts and ends with God:
According to Isaiah 30: 1 & 21 “Woe to the rebellious children says the Lord who take counsel but not of Me, and who devise plans but not of my spirit, that they may add sin to sin. Your ears will hear a word behind you saying this is the way to walk in it.  Whenever you turn to the right or whenever you turn to the left.” For us to know the will of God, we must take counsel from God. We must not lean on our understanding. Whenever it comes to the choice of a life partner, we must take counsel from the Lord and do what is right in His sight. The Bible says the end of a way that seems right in your sight might lead to destruction. Proverbs 3:5 – 7 says: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil.

3. All our preferences in a man or a woman must align with the will and purpose of God for our lives.
AccordingtoColossians 1:16, “For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.”

God knows the end from the beginning, and he knows the right person for us. We must build positive relationships and align our preferences to be at the center of God’s will for our lives. So many theories today tell us about compatibility and togetherness, but we must remember that any theory outside of God’s will is destruction waiting to happen.

Your talents and skills are not enough in choosing a life partner. Let God lead you to the right person for your life!

Written by Gbenga Adigun

Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments, opinions on this website are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of M-Lifestyle and their affiliates. M-Lifestyle does not claim ownership of any images used, unless otherwise specified.




  1. John Alabi says:

    So excited to be part of the live program. Reading it again inspires and instructive to me. Bless you powerfully sir.


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