What if we told our sons it is okay to cry when you feel the need to? What if we told our sons that it is okay to express emotions? What if we told our sons, in explanation as to why girls may act out against them, that “girls will be girls”? What if we told our sons that they must know how to cook, clean, keep up a home, learn how to nurture women and aspire to marry by a certain age? What if we raised our sons the way we raise our daughters?

What if we forced our sons to take accountability for their actions? Why don’t we teach our sons to not be predators rather than teach our daughters to avoid them? What if we raised our sons to protect others the same way we teach our daughters? What if we corrected our sons when they wronged others, and not just us? What if we told our sons to be gentle with the words they use with a woman as to not bruise her ego and defeminize her? What if we raised our sons to tread lightly around a woman’s emotions to preserve her pride? What if we raised our sons the way we raised our daughters?

What if we told our sons “she’s just a woman” to justify a woman’s actions? What if we told our sons to “hold that woman down while she has nothing, stand by her until she gets herself together, she doesn’t need to be a finished product when you get her?” What if we didn’t live in fear of hurting our sons’ feelings when telling them, in a nutshell, that they need to grow up and get their act together? What if we raised our sons the way we raised our daughters?

What if we raised our sons to believe that their body is a temple and that they should not be giving away their sex so freely? What if we taught our sons that sleeping around is unattractive? What if we taught our sons that commitment is not a death sentence? What if we raised our sons the way we raise our daughters?

What if we nurtured our sons’ insecurities? What if we taught our sons emotional stability? What if we raised our sons to have emotional maturity?

What if we placed the same expectations on our sons that we place on our daughters? What if we coddled our daughters the way we coddled our sons? Imagine telling your daughter—the same way we tell our sons— to sleep around, play the field, get her numbers up as much as she can before she settles down long-term? What if we placed our sons’ value in their ability to cook, clean, change a tire, lay down tile, change oil, etc. in the same way we place our daughters’ value in home making and femininity? Why don’t we teach our sons to place value in companionship the same way we teach our daughters?

What if we stopped giving our sons a pass each time the decisions they make show a lack of maturity? What if we stopped telling our daughters to tolerate a man’s actions simply because “he’s a man?” What if we were more critical of our sons than we are of our daughters? What if we raised our sons out of hope and not out of fear? What if we raised our sons the way we raise our daughters?

By: Chantelle Polite

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