Nappily Ever After debuted on Netflix, on September 21, 2018. The movie focuses on Violet (Sanaa Lathan), who is quite impressionable in her career, relationship, and life.  Violet is the embodiment of the “perfect woman,” but there are areas in her life that show otherwise. Violet’s mother, Paulette, has been molding her daughter to be the ideal woman that every man wants since she was young. Throughout the movie, there are scenes showing Paulette doing Violet’s hair which is a common experience many women share. Although, Nappily Ever After addresses issues regarding the transition of black hair; there are other topics the movie touches on like black women in the workplace, tension in mother-daughter relationships, love lives and much more.

Without spoiling the movie, a conflict arises with Violet and she spirals into a personal identity qualm. While Sanaa’s character is struggling to process her abrupt life change, she takes a drastic turn and impulsively decides to experiment with hair. In this new transition, we see a difference in the way men respond to her new look and what kind of men respond in a good way. After watching the movie, this question kept ringing in my head. “Do natural women attract a certain kind of man?”

Where is this question coming from? Well, Violet has two relationships in the movie.  These men are not necessarily opposites, but they are different. Clint has history with Violet. They dated for two years. Clint is well-groomed, successful and is a doctor. Will is an owner of the hair shop, a hairdresser, a single parent and he is a brotha that loves all things natural. His style is more eclectic and, to say the least. Both men are indeed successful, but even that is portrayed differently. Will’s occupation as a hairdresser and hair shop owner prompts the questioning of his masculinity. However, Will encourages Violet’s new hair look. Violet and his daughter end up having a great bond. Will enjoys his time with Violet and Violet is comfortable around him. Clint’s opinion on her hair is quite vague. Instead, he is rather concerned whether or not they can make their relationship work. The only direct comment he makes is a suggestion for her to “do something with her hair.” We see from the responses of these two men that men like Clint do not really appreciate women with natural hair and prefer a more “suitable look”.

Will’s warm and loving aura is such a pleasantry to natural women. It is encouraging, yet the downfall of Will’s character in the movie is that he doesn’t attain the same credentials as Clint.  There are natural women who are looking for men who look like Clint and act like Will. Are natural women not attractive enough to sweep any kind of man? We need more realism from media platforms and movie industries dispelling the notion that natural women can attract any man regardless of his background, social status, and profession.

It is safe to say in this modern day, men are attracted to women regardless of her hair. We know this already. We also know that it is unfair to think that men would discriminate based on hair and hair alone. What was Clint’s real issue? The reason for the break up is entirely different from a woman deciding to cut her hair. One should not affect the other. The issue with Clint was internal. That is where the problem lies. Perhaps, it would be fair if Will and Clint are both successful (regardless of occupation) and both love and accept Violet’s hair. Then, we could see which man loves Violet truly for who she is? At the end of the day, loving a woman is accepting her for who she is.

Some women have alluded to different men approaching them based on the style of her hair. Every woman’s experience is not the same. Attraction is subjective, what may be attractive to one is completely different from another. The narrative, in Nappily Ever After, appears to show that only a certain kind of man will be with a woman who wears her hair in a specific way. No one is at fault per se, but the perception needs to be changed. Creatively, the movie could have even worked with writers from Issa Rae’s Insecure to get a better idea of how men are indeed attracted to all different types of women, including natural women. The standard needs to be raised because natural women are expecting actual representation. Unfortunately, Nappily Ever After did not succeed at all in that department. This movie was highly anticipated by many, but it was quite a disappointment. There was so much room for improvement. There must be expectations met for future movies that display similar themes regarding women, natural hair, and the response from men.

By: Priscilla Brown

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