Old School Vs. New School Moms, Lessons Learned

As the saying goes “things are so much different now than they were years ago.” This quote is true when it comes to moms and…

As the saying goes “things are so much different now than they were years ago.” This quote is true when it comes to moms and their parenting styles, and how they have changed over the years. Mothers of today are in pursuit of their careers while trying to balance the “perfect” family life, while the old-school moms seemingly dedicated their entire lives to the taking care of the household and the children. An old-school mom may think that is how it should be, while most modern moms are pushing against that narrative. There is a certain level of pride that exists between the two different generations, one side believing that they should be listened to because they have the necessary experience in the parenting game, and the modern moms who may have seen their parenting style a different way from how they were raised. Here are some ways old-school and new-moms have transformed over the years:

  1. Technologically Advanced:
    For the 1stgeneration Americans who had to teach their parents how to use an electronic device in order to get something done, I see you. For those 1stgeneration individuals who are now the mothers of today, be thankful that you can pick up how to use the myriad of apps that are now available to see your child’s homework and track their progress. A process that once took us more time than it needed to, is now down to a few minutes- this is what I call progress.

  1. Being open to Emotional/Mental Health issues:
    Some of us grew up with parents who dealt with issues that we didn’t have the vocabulary for and that had a significant impact on how we were raised and the experiences that we dealt with as adolescents. Now mothers of today have the vocabulary and the resources necessary to identify and seek of help if needed for themselves and others within their immediate and extended families, which is a thing that wasn’t widely spoken about or had access to when we were growing up.
  2. More Understanding:
    Adults may remember back when they were children their moms not wanting to hear their sides of a situation and having to listen to their moms go on and on about a situation that may not be all the way true and not getting to speak from their point of views. Some mothers of today are giving their children a chance to advocate for themselves and not seeing “talking back” as a sign of disrespect. This way they are allowing their child to respectfully defend themselves in a less hostile way.
  3. It is okay to be wrong:
    Some old-school moms had a hard-time (or still do) with admitting when they’re wrong. As young adolescents looking back, I believed it would have served us greatly to see our parents apologize when they were wrong. It would break the “perfect” lens that some of our parents may have been viewed through. Modern moms are learning it is important to see that as a parent they make mistakes and them being able to admit that to their child is an important skill that most people have not gotten the hang of as of yet.
  4. Using Positive Affirmations:
    Old-School moms expected us to do well and for some of us, we delivered but we didn’t always hear about it from our moms. For some of us, the words “can’t” and “bad” were attributed to our moments when we would act out or want to pursue something that didn’t fit their vision for us. Moms of today, are realizing it is important to fill their children with positive affirmations so that takes the guess work out of the children when it comes to them figuring out how their parents feel about them and their accomplishments. Doing this helps boost the self-esteem of the young people of today when it comes to what they want to do or try.

Mothers do the best they can within the circumstance they are given, and we all know this is not an easy job. However, some of us might agree that in retrospect, we wished our parents could have handled situations differently and that impacts the way moms’ parent today. By mom’s being more emotionally entuned, listening to their child’s needs and wants, and being more vulnerable we see now that is not a sign of weakness. Modern moms have learned or are learning that the way to have a positive relationship with their children is by doing those previously mentioned things. No change happens if the same cycle is repeated. This is not a ‘who does it better,’ it is more like a ‘let’s improve on how we do a few things’ and I think that is a pretty good way to look at it. What do you think? Let me know in the comments.

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